Post 67--Gatewaymail: The Nigeria-Canada Connection

This morning news reached me about a Nigerian launching a Canada-based online publication called Gatewaymail. The founder is the Nigerian journalist based in Canada, Femi Shodunke, who launched it this past Friday, September 4, 2015.  It will feature general news and exclusive interviews, with a focus on Nigeria and Canada. Having served in Nigeria for 30 years and then  researching and writing about the country, especially about its Christian-Muslim relations, for another ten years, I deeply welcome this venture and hope to read it regularly. Well, at least, somewhat regularly. Mr. Shodunke, welcome.  Feel free to contact me at <  boerjf@hotmail.com  >. 

Nigerians are a lively people who tend to respond to each other’s writings in very robust and graphic manner that can be both humorous and disgusting. As a special friend to Nigeria, I want to advise Mr. Shodunke to reign in the language of his people who respond to your articles. Femi, I suspect you want to be taken seriously in Canada.  If I am right, then you won’t want to have your publication associated with such diatribe.  You don’t want Canadians laugh at your publication and at those who respond. You want to be respected. Please take this suggestion from a friend of Nigeria seriously.

Just in case you’re not sure what I mean, Femi, I reproduce a short dialogue from two Nigerian readers who have read the story of the launching of Gatewaymail in the Nigerian newspaper Premium Times. That’s definitely not where you want to go with this new venture in Canada.

To the readers of this blog: I have deleted the names of and references to the names of the writers of the materials below and refer to them simply as “Writer 1” and “Writer 2.”  Sometimes I use ellipses. The first one is a UBC student; the second lives in the USA. Non-Nigerian readers of this post do not need to have all the Nigerian acronyms translated to get the drift of this exchange.

Writer 1: Here you go again, marshmallow head …. Have tried to investigate who the editor is before making your usual tribalistic and senseless comment? I live in Canada and without any doubt the best country to live on the planet. Ask anyone you know if at all your coconut head of your type will know anyone living in Canada. I am not sure you will get ever get the visa to come here base on your Facebook postings. Instead of enouraging the editor, all you could do is to throw your filthy beaks full of horse manure at this laudable venture. At least he is not engaged in your own 419 vocation. Pity you dud brain. Just a hug a zamboni.

Writer 2: It's amusing Mr. Knuckle head , to hear you bragging about Canada , a country that the economy is almost in the toilet now , and the only part of Canada where any form of activity is going on now is Alberta , and that's because of the oil there, but sadly , Alberta is now in crises too , since the price of oil has dropped . I dislike people that boast. If I may ask you, are you a Canadian citizen ? For your information, I have a dual citizenship, as a Nigerian and as a US citizen. I hold the strongest passport in the world. I can travel to almost all the Countries in the world including UK, Canada, Australia, etc., visa free . I also hold the passport of one of the Carribean Islands . That makes it 3 valid passports . By the way , you know the value of the Canadian dollar has dropped by 30 cents , compared to the green back ( the almighty $US) . So now I've beat you off your pants.  What next ?

Writer 1: I don't need three passports to travel to anywhere in the universe. I only need my Canadian passport, dunk head, because I am honestly employed as a professional. So you know that much about Canada. So tell me then why is USA, always at the bottom of the barrel in terms of their social services? And while you at it, how come your fellow black brothers and sisters are now the endangered species in your USA, dumbo Chudi. Canada has always been in the top three countries in the universe the rest of the world wants to live in. Screw head Chudi I have traveled extensively in USA before you ever connived your way to USA, so you cannot even compare your coconut head to what I have achieved since I have been living North America. And the purpose of education is to be functional, and you Chudi, what have you learnt about America democratic dispensation that you have been able to transfer to your country of birth assuming you are not some type of Biafran renegade AWOL. I still believe in Nigeria hence my penchant for fighting for the betterment of it regardless of what your fellow 419 brothers are doing here in North America to soil its image. Just yesterday your brothers were caught with loads of hard drugs in UK, and your fellow brother by the name ..... was just put in jail for 419 in here in UK again along with all his accomplices, and so now what are you are going to do about that, marshmallow head Chudi …? Have you tried to assist DSS in Nigeria to fish these people out. I hope you are gainfully employed in USA and not running from FBI due to your soiled cupboard. At least I know that most of the jailbirds in Houston, Texas are your friends from SE/SS in Nigeria after the Mexicans. And if you know so much about the current state of the world economy you will remember that your USA was saved from bankruptcy by Obama in the 80s. Canada is still the envy of the rest of world in terms of GDP, skunk head Chudi …. And there you have it. I can teach you more world lessons if you need it, but I don't have time for a dumbo of your type.

Well, you get the drift of it, I believe. If you’re just publishing for Nigerians, Femi, go ahead, use all the scuff you want, but if you want Canadians to join you…  We’re just too polite for this kind of lingo, humorous as it is. We won’t take you seriously, just shake our heads and laugh. And you know, I’m probably going to be one of your most tolerant non-Nigerian readers. I can take a lot of gaff, but that’s not true for most of us.

And now I’m going to try to access  Gatewaymail and invite you to do the same.           Let me know what you think of it.

Post 66—Political Correctness: A Definition from the Land of Politics

George Fraser, a gentleman—or so I assume—unknown to me, recently shared with the rest of us in digital space an interesting and humorous story about the meaning of “political correctness.” I want to share that story with you if for no other reason than that it’s time for a bit of laughter. The story may not prove originality, but it does give us a rough definition of the concept that you may enjoy. The story also illustrates that the people we respect, such as elected leaders, are not always the ladies or gentlemen we assume them to be—with apologies along with thanks to George Fraser.  Also ahead of time an apology to you, reader, for the coarse lingo to which alleged gentlemen occasionally resort.  It’s not my usual stuff. 

On August 8, 2015, George published an article with the title “What a Brilliant Definition.” Since it reached me via via via, I take it that there are no copyright restrictions involved. It’s gone way beyond that. Here then in another font but in his own words, goes Fraser:

For the last six odd years, almost all of the things I wanted to write or say, have been stymied by the modern term referred to as 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS'.  Although I consider myself reasonably fluent in English, that term was not in my vocabulary.  

Curiosity got the better of me so I decided to do a little research, and after two weeks of chasing fruitless leads, I found what I'd been looking for at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence Missouri .  An unnamed source there sent me copies of four telegrams between then-President Harry Truman and Gen Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WW2 Surrender Agreement in September 1945.  

The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war -- not a word has been added or deleted!

----------------------------------- 

(1) Tokyo , Japan 

0800-September 1,1945 

To: President Harry S Truman  

From: General D A MacArthur 

Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2) Washington, D C

1300-September 1, 1945 

To: D A MacArthur

From: H S Truman 

Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3) Tokyo , Japan  

1630-September 1, 1945

To: H S Truman

From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz 

Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4) Washington, D C

2120-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz

From: H S Truman 

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of … by the clean end!  (Boer: The ellipsis represents a crude word I, ever the gentleman, deleted, but it is synonymous with “manure.”)

Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means.

End of Fraser Input

There you have it, improprieties and all. I asked myself whether I should apologize to the Japanese about participating in the spread of this story. After all, it is not exactly flattering to them. But then I compared the tone and language of this story to the atrocities the Japanese unleashed on the people in Asia, such that even today’s Japanese are ashamed of. And not only on the people of Asia, that is, Asians, but also on the non-Asians residing there. My middle name is Harm, named after my father’s oldest brother, who was living in Indonesia along with his Dutch family and was interned in a Japanese concentration camp. His wife eventually died from the after effects. Of course, you can legitimately ask what these people were doing in Indonesia in the first place, but that’s another story.  This story about political correctness with all of its insults is peanuts compared to atrocities the Japanese inflicted on their neighbours. So, I am not about to turn to political correctness and apologize to the Japanese.

In more politically correct terminology, the website < http://www.freedictionarydefinitions.com > offers this definition:  “conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated.”

So, now you have two definitions of the term. Take your pick. Personally, as you may have noticed, I don’t embrace either one.